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[arcaneadvisor]

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[fightingale]

( Better to wait out Morrigan's anger, she suspects. Fighting with Morrigan seems, at times, as though it might be about as sensible as attempting to yell above thunder, as though tearing your throat raw in the rain with your clothes slicked to your skin and lightning burning the ground will make any progress. (And yet, how many times has she fought Morrigan? Beyond counting, if that year is counted in full, and doubtless more as time stretches on. In this moment, she has no cause to fight with Morrigan. Her yelling is the anger Leliana felt knocked from her the moment Zevran took it all so well in stride.)

Anders turned himself into the Wardens, and they exist outside our jurisdiction. ( Leliana braces herself for what she does not doubt will be the bluntest delivery of anger she has received thus far, and may be the most vicious anger of them all. Morrigan's words cut deep. ) I agreed he should be allowed to them. Ostensibly for his atonement, but... I would not see a man such as he made into a martyr.

( Her expression tightens, anger winding her jaw to clench and her shoulders and neck rigid. She hopes he chokes on that compassion, she truly does. Of all the people to be granted mercy, and she is not fully at peace with it, but what backlash might his death have sparked? Against the faithful, and against mages? It does not sit well, but with the Wardens making their claim, how much ground had there been to order his execution, when there were so many reasons to argue against it? )

I am sorry I did not uncover him sooner. ( Before he had turned himself to the Wardens, before they had already determined to approach the Advisers. Before Morrigan had spoken with him, before any number of things. She wishes she had unravelled his mind when first she went to Kirkwall under Justinia's orders. Another instance of information gone undiscovered, of deaths that might have been avoided, if she had done something better.

Is this going to get worse? Probably, though she isn't sure she wants to drop to those depths. What she wants has not been a question in so long though, has it? )

He knew. ( How many people could Morrigan mean? ) He and Zevran, both.

[arcaneadvisor]

[The worst passes quick enough, though Leliana will know well enough that it doesn't mean it's forgotten. It sits beneath the surface, simmering away, and woe betide any who cross her path once she leaves here unless they happen to be Kieran. This is the Nightingale she is with this time, she is sure enough of that, because Leliana for all that she played the Game would have shown something more than this, but the Nightingale must be a more careful creature.]

Are they not here? Within these walls, part of your Inquisition? The Inquisition is not a nation that they must bow to and even the Wardens cannot accept that within their midst unless they mean to throw him in the Deep Roads. [Would that martyr him? Someone would find a way to make it so, some idiot from a Circle with a mind too soft to know what they are, still ready for the leash. When they form themselves into a council that spins on and within itself as the Circles did then they are still less and deserve their fates though this time much more has been thrust upon them. That so many did vote is a point in their favour, as is the volume of those who do not wish for a return.

Yet Anders walking free amongst them might change so much.

Instead of thinking on that, she watches Leliana openly, might have given some sign of satisfaction at seeing any sort of reaction before she rights herself and smooths down her robes to give her hands something to do.]

You cannot know every name and face within the Inquistion when there are clearly those who would deceive you and spit in your face as they twist the knife. [Letters soften harsh words somehow, they don't show the curl of her lip, the set of her jaw, the look in her eye.] You are not the one owing apologies.

[Still, it is appreciated, a shame she cannot dwell on it.]

Zevran? Zevran knew? Why on earth would he go along with this farce? [That is worse; Alistair had only spoken of Kieran, glanced at him from afar or haunted their steps in the early days but Zevran? He had been close to her son, giving him toys, telling him stories. She had trusted him simply by allowing him to come so close.

She trusts so few with her son, she cannot even fully trust herself when it comes to Kieran. There are sharp minds within the Inquisition, Weisshaupt Wardens among them, and questions that might be asked.]

[fightingale]

It is not so simple as that. ( A little sharp, harsh, though only a little. ) They are a potential means to undo Corypheus. They may yet be able to provide clues to his destruction, and we cannot lose them.

( "We benefit from their cooperation," she might have said. Cooperation, though, would suggest several members had not lied to the Inquisition, that they were not harbouring such a man as that, no matter what the Champion might have decreed.

Another time, Leliana might close her eyes, might brace herself against the force of Morrigan's words and her ire, because they are harsh and cutting, even if Leliana does not suffer as a result of them directly. She feels the impact of their meaning, not as a personal slight, but as a painful truth revealed. It is absorbed, and she stands silent, rather than making a response, and perhaps it is in part because she is not certain that it is true. Morrigan is blunt, she is honest in a way that can be manipulative and cruel and sincere, and none of those things dismiss the possibility of her being wrong. (Ten years ago Leliana would have contended that Morrigan is wrong about most things.) )

That is a question I cannot answer. ( Or that she will not, perhaps, because all the conclusions she draw are painful. Better to withdraw a little. If she pulls back too far she cannot be what she must, but of late she has let herself rise too much to the surface, has let what she felt amplify, as though they were echoes reverberating in an abandoned Chantry. Whispers were loud enough in such places, but a yell or a song? They could fill up the space until it seemed there was room for nothing else.

Leliana cannot afford that, will press them back, even if it feels as though her skin may blister and burst with the fire raging just beneath it.

A long silence - if it is allowed - lingers before she speaks again. )

We have never been close, you and I. ( "We could barely stand each other," she could say, but the words are needless. ) But I meant what I said when I told you that I would protect this Inquisition.

( By extension Morrigan and, more importantly, Kieran. Her eyes and ears tell her much, and yet she needs them not at all to know what the boy means to Morrigan, or at least... to grasp at it. )

Whatever must be done will be done.

( Though what such an assurance will mean, she does not know. )

[arcaneadvisor]

Or a potential risk within the walls. Potential and may and for what? Only clues? What of value have they given any? Even Alistair only would part with fragments. He can command them, what would he do with a possessed mage?

[If Corypheus comes here, she can fight for as long as she can but Kieran will be lost to her, that she knows and it's what snuffs out the anger, replaces it with dread as surely as being struck by magic. Is it better or worse that there is no eluvian? No easy escape for her if she requires it but more difficult for Corypheus to claim it.

He wants such things, she's sure of it, another one who would know to access it and if he does--

Not the time to tell Leliana. Wait until it is here, until it is safe and within her grasp again, then speak of it or surely she will not get the aid she fears she needs. Although perhaps Leliana would be angrier. Morrigan always did take some savage joy in prompting a sharp word from her and it would reassure her. What happened to you, she thinks far from the first time, where is the girl, the little deceiver, the one who sang so soulfully that even my heard turned to watch? Perhaps now if that Leliana were here they would be closer. Or if there had been no Kieran, ten years alone to grow sharper, to not have learned to love.

Leliana was close to them once. What will they say of the spymaster who somehow missed this? Such a failure in Orlais...a good thing Morrigan isn't even a student of it, merely an often disinterested spectator.]

I assume that there will be repercussions, and that the Inquisition will live up to the name it bears? [At least phrasing so much as a question is natural though the gentle prompting won't go unnoticed, nor the narrowing of her eyes. Already she has questions of her own.

But there is at least an answer, one that she can nod to, mouth pressed into a grim smile that is so like and yet unlike her. Her smiles are rare and when grim they at least look satisfied. This feelse false and she heaves a disgusted sigh as if she could expel it all so easily. What she would give to lose this all in a true fit of temper and destruction but that hasn't been her way for some time.

Yet she's relieved all the same. As much as she can be in the moment.]

I-- [A hesitation that speaks volumes. She is not good at this.] Thank you. I am glad to know.

[To know that there is a blade or a bow between him and harm that I can count on.]

Should you require my aid, you need only ask.

[Who would have thought she would offer so freely but she trusted them and now she remembers why she never tried before if this is the price she must pay.]

[fightingale]

More, I think, but I await more information.

( There are whispers that might counter their staying in these walls, the possibility of a camp, but that is not yet a thing confirmed and she will not raise false hope onto to betray it later. There is too much that is uncertain, as yet - the damnable Wardens and their secrets. )

Pray do not speak to me as though I am ignorant of the risks or my responsibilities.

( Not a warning, quite. There is a quiet edge of something else in it, a knife sneaking down into the space between, trying to pry pieces of her apart, though she will not allow it. It is met with too much resistance, for all that it makes it through. It could verge on a request, a rasp of rawness in it that she would snatch from the air if she could - snatch, pull back, and burn 'til there was no evidence remaining. Not anger, but something far worse and something she will not allow herself.

The greatest spy network that Thedas has seen, some say, or fast becoming it. Even so, they had missed this. They had failed to see something under their nose, and it was being kept secret by those she had trusted. Part of her wonders if she is a fool to trust any. Part of her wonders if she has become too cruel for people to come to.

Leliana does not look at Morrigan when she looks up - quite when her gaze dropped she's not sure - casting her gaze towards the window instead. The people who have known her longest now without betrayal are Josephine, Morrigan and Shale. One once idolised her, two had believed her a fool, but all of them had been allies and none of them looked at her as they used to. She would not wish them to, even as she wonders if the betrayals are inevitable here, too.

Then Morrigan speaks of repercussions and drags Leliana's watchful focus back to her, as she smiles that dangerous familiar and unfamiliar smile, and Leliana thinks she might be able to see something else in it, but she does not know if she should trust her judgment in the people she used to know so well, any more. She had tested Josie before she trusted her with the Inquisition. Perhaps Alistair and Zevran deserved no less. )

Do not mention it. And-- Thank you.

( Though she does not know if she should take that offer. Not yet. Not now. )

[arcaneadvisor]

And do not speak to me as if I am the one who has kept my secrets behind my teeth. I left Orlais to come provide the aid that I alone can, I have not conspired against you.

[She is sharp, she is waspish, she feels she has every right to be when she's sure that she's suspect to many but what she keeps to herself are things that are far beyond the reach of the Inquisition or things they have no right knowing. The greatest secrets are already known to Leliana after spending a year in her company; that Flemeth is real and the stories are true, that Morrigan managed to keep three Wardens alive upon slaying an Archdemon, that her son carries the soul of an Old God.

She is remarkably bare before Leliana now, only her motives for seeking her out and the full truth of her involvement in Orlais to be investigated, should she makes that decision.

But she can be a bird, and there are many ravens, though none that can so easily speak to the spymaster. Who knows what might pass through the lips of Wardens unaware that they are being watched; she said once to Alistair that they were 'his' Wardens but they are no more beholden to his command than Jonas was. Entitled to an opinion but with Wardens from Weisshaupt confirmed to be among them then tis not Alistair leading.

If Alistair could have truly orchestrated this then she'd quite frankly be amazed.]

I must leave, to check on Kieran. [If she needs to she can disappear and go to ground, not even Leliana could find her if she chose to vanish in the night but there is work to be done and the Inquisition is her best chance to get all that she needs. Their goals align neatly but if Kieran is in danger…] You know where to find me, if I am needed. You are not one I would make an enemy of, you might be the very opposite.

[How does one gracefully admit they were wrong in the past without actually having to make such an admission, especially when they aren't entirely sure of who the woman before them is, or why they reach for a girl that they once so openly despised. Leliana would have been hurt by the betrayal, hurt like she'd been with Marjolaine but a storm can be weathered without resorting to the measures the Nightingale will have to face, and woe betide any who think to keep anything from her now.

If it had only been Alistair then perhaps this all would have been easier. Alistair is after all a Warden, and decidedly lacking in anything that resembles a spine or critical thinking; he'd been convinced to go to Morrigan's bed and to lie with her after all, even when he'd despised and mistrusted her. However it was not, it was Zevran, and they had been so close once. So recently she and Leliana had spoken of friends, enemies, allies.

Surely the counting of such things must be easier when so many fall into one singular camp.]

[fightingale]

( And that is a shock quite on its own.
Leliana stills her voice on the retaliatory response supplied so sharply by her mind, gaze fixed on Morrigan so she gathers up pieces and tries to gather and weave together what she finds. To think that Morrigan would be the honest one - or at least the one best at keeping the appearance of it. Her concern for Kieran, though, her love for him, seems that it could only be genuine.

And to think, scant weeks ago she had been so incredulous that Morrigan could be a good mother. To think she had been making quiet jokes with Zevran, some of them comments at Morrigan’s expense, and even then he had been lying by omission, while Morrigan had been… loyal is not the right word, but honest is not fully sufficient when considering all the consequences.

Leliana only nods when Morrigan says she must depart, turning away to face down a pile of letters and information, to begin filtering through how they might control this information as it leaves Skyhold, as it inevitably will. Her mind is almost entirely moved on from Morrigan to the larger scale of these concerns and their implications, when Morrigan speaks again.

To be fair, it’s not a personal or friendly remark. Of that Leliana is more than certain. It is a professional one, a pragmatic one, but that does not keep Leliana’s brows from raising or her expression turning a little surprised. )

Understood.

( And Morrigan has lost something here, as well. If Leliana had few friends she could trust, the same must be said for Morrigan, though quite how that came to pass has been very different for both of them. She… pauses, a moment, considers if there is something she can say to reassure Morrigan, and realises that she has nothing to offer, and that the Morrigan she remembers would scorn whatever she did attempt. This is not the Morrigan from the Fifth Blight, though, as she is continually reminded.

Instead she only nods, while her hands smooth over some parchment, and she tries to determine from where they should begin as Morrigan departs. )